I am so useless
Over the last few days I have been thinking about myself a bit. Not much but enough to make me relise how useless my life is at the moment. I am not in university at the moment because of holidays, and like most holidays and weekends and any other day I am not in university or lessons do not start till the afternoon my sleeping pattens go out the window. For the last few months I have slept in past noon the only exception was the last week of my holiday in France at LePas Opton where I was normally up by around 10 o’clock.
When I actually do get up all I do is set around my house, usually not far from my computer or television (considering they are right next to eachother it would be hard not to). Although I am skilled on a computer the last think that actually involved using my brain was probably when I build my computer which was about two months ago now. I have upgraided the memory from a gigabyte to two and installed Microsoft Windows Vista Beta 2.
I think I need to get back into University and do some work, I know I am more than capable of doing anything that is asked of me and then some. It would also give me a reason to get a sleeping patter, I have not had one since I was in highschool which was over three years ago now. It would probably be a bad idea if I was self employed, I would never get the work done.
August 5th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
It’s not that bad, I’m sure you’ll be just as upset to be doing something when the time comes so just enjoy it. Why not work on some sites or get a job?
August 5th, 2006 at 3:07 pm
It goes back to my “I cannot be bothered” mentality
August 6th, 2006 at 10:31 am
That all sounds very familiar. In psychological and couselling terms you would probably be one of those typical people who underachieve as a result of understimulation. A doctor would probably suggest getting a better routine and eating better, and maybe get a pet project to put your efforts into. But all that said, unless you find a way to enthuse yourself none of the above will happen. Do you remember being more involved in your own life when you were at school? Do you feel that you have more control these days but less fulfilled for some reason? Whatever - as someone who has squandered their uni years and pinned to get out into the real world, I can say, for god’s sake find a way of enjoying what you’re doing at the moment. Even if sleeping all the time is the way you actually want to spend your time, find a way of enjoying that, because you’ve got a quater-life crisis coming up, when you realise that as a fully-fledged adult you NEVER have the time you used to as a uni-goer. If sleeping isn’t what you want then find out what is and find out how to enjoy it; if sleeping actually is what you really want, then just relax with it and don’t criticise yourself for your choices. No-one’s going to come into your bedroom and make you WANT to get up, so sind your own way. You’ll curse yourself if you don’t.
August 6th, 2006 at 10:54 am
In my earlier high school years I was usually the first to offer my help and give up my break-times etc. At that time I often had my homework done by end of the night I got it. However, in my GCSE years I lost my focus and started to fall into the rut I am currently stuck in that was about four years ago now. Last year at university I was on a course that was not really for me, I am more of a technical person and I was doing an arts based computer course. I am hoping that now I am moving onto a different course that should have more of the things I enjoy, programming being one of them. I do find that I have more control, I just tend not to take control.